As I'm writing this it’s New Year’s Eve – or Nochevieja,
literally ‘old night’ – and therefore, I thought, as good a time as any for
some end-of-year reflection. It also happens to be exactly one year since
I arrived – alone, jet-lagged (no partying for
me that nochevieja), and grinning
ear-to-ear – to the beautiful and chaotic mess that is Spain.
2015 really
has been an amazing and enriching experience, and I'm not just saying that
because, well, that's what you say after a year abroad. The year wasn't everything I’d
hoped or expected it to be, but that’s okay; in place of those unfulfilled expectations
I got what I believe to be real cultural immersion, simply by letting Spain happen. And anyway, why would one even want to know what to expect out of an
entire year of adventures in a new and unexplored place?
It’s funny
how we set ourselves up for failure as far as regret is concerned: we write
bucket lists, make Pinterest boards, set resolutions… all of which are great
in principle but only serve to constantly remind us how much we have not achieved. This feeling is certainly
not helped by the endless feed of perfectly crafted moments and stories we’re
confronted with every time we open Facebook or Instagram. I get that we need
lists and goals to keep us focused and motivated, I really do. (No really; I have
my own embarrassingly over-researched Google Map of Madrid with over 200
colour-coordinated pins.) But what about a retrospective
list? What about a list of all the great moments which just ended up happening, regardless
of whether they were planned, photographed, or shared?
So this is
my list; my little nod to 2015 to say “You were pretty great”.
I finally learnt another language,
properly this time. Knowing how prone to regret I am, I made sure to get on that plane with only ONE non-negotiable goal: learn Spanish. That way, even when I succumbed to little bouts of regret or doubt, I knew I was ultimately succeeding in
what I’d come to do. What’s more, favouring one goal over a huge bucket list
ended up guiding a lot of my decisions and shaped my year in many simple yet
crucial ways. It was what brought me to a house full of Spaniards, what deterred
me from going to international parties, what forced me to choose tricky linguistic subjects in Spanish second semester, and what encouraged me to go to so many language exchanges. Above all else, learning Spanish simply enabled me to connect more; as
a people person, nothing gave me more joy than gradually being able to unlock
more and more different social situations as my fluency improved. Although I may not have recognised it at the time, these little peeks into
Spanish life flavoured my year and shaped it into the immersive experience that it was.
I didn't travel as frequently as most exchange students – finance was obviously a
factor, as well as my desire to really get to know my own little corner of Spain –
but when I did I made it count. During the summer break I travelled a
bit of Eastern Europe by myself, before meeting up with my family for Norway
and northern Spain. I also went on day hiking and sightseeing trips near
Madrid, spent a week camping at a Spanish musical festival, and celebrated
Easter with Álvaro's
family on their farm. I truly believe travelling is about the little things, but if I had to pick highlights, they would be: hiking, cycling, and lakeside
picnicking with fellow backpackers in Slovenia, possibly the most gorgeous and
underrated country I have ever been; reuniting with my childhood best friend
Tara after three years and wandering, cycling and swimming all over Mljet
Island in Croatia, talking non-stop for five days; strolling through the
magical village of Albarracín in Spain with my new friend Colleen; meeting cool people in Zadar, Croatia and watching the sunset every evening from the sea organ; and snow-shoeing
on Folgefonna Glacier in Norway on a beautiful summer’s day.
Don’t get
me wrong, I had my lazy weeks, filled with too much routine and not enough
adventure. I remember my first few months here though, when I threw myself at every
opportunity, pushing myself to take chances I normally wouldn't. Not every
chance paid off, but some led to new friendships, unique cultural experiences,
and memorable adventures. The best bit was realising how easy carpe diem really
is; it’s really just about saying yes. Okay so I had some shitty times, some
lonely times, some times when I was saying no left right and centre and as a result probably
missed out on a million great opportunities and interactions. But the beautiful
thing about seizing the day is that every time you do it, you are rewarded,
regardless of how many days, weeks or months you may have wasted by saying no.
This time last year I was
eager to leave 2014 and Australia behind, to focus on ‘getting back to being me’
(whatever that means), to have fun,
to try new things, and to get rid of all the negativity I had allowed to build
up inside of me. Would calling 2015 my ‘Detox Year’ be a little too dramatic?
Quite possibly. But in all honesty, as isolating as being away from everything
and starting afresh was at times, it forced me to think out some of the bigger
issues (future! identity! relationships!) and gain some clarity on who I am and
where I want to take things from here.
I will miss
this country and its beautiful people; I have never felt as homesick for
Australia as I know I will for Spain. But perhaps it is because Spain feels like home now that I am ready to move on. Even
though the next adventure seems, on paper, all-too-familiar – inner-west
Sydney, university, Australian culture, old friends and family – I'm still
incredibly excited. I'm looking forward to the beautiful weather, going on a
kayak trip with Dad, bumping into people I know on campus, bushwalking with friends,
and even (oklet’sbehonestespecially) returning to my true nerdy self in
Linguistics. And, of course, all the wonderful surprises that I know 2016 will throw at me as I go along.
"Estoy más a gusto que un arbusto" / "I'm more at ease/content than a bush" - ...or something along those lines, obviously the Spanish has more of a ring to it because of the rhyming! Manu taught me this one a few months back at home, and it quickly went on the la pizarra (the whiteboard) of new phrases. I'm not sure what I love more; the ridiculous imagery of a bush being 'at ease', or the knowledge that the strange English translation is exactly the kind of silly thing my friends Melissa, Adrienne and I would have said during high school.
"escoba" / "broom" - Couldn't for the life of me remember this simple word until I started reading Harry Potter in Spanish, which I am really enjoying. Other useful additions to my vocab include "varita" (wand), "las mazmoras" (the dungeons), and "Señor Tenebroso" (the Dark Lord)!
"De perdidos al río" / literally "From lost to the river" - Love this expression! It's another one of those phrases which simply doesn't translate, but because it's so common in Spanish, I've heard on several occasions its literal translation from Spaniards speaking English. From what I can gather it means something like 'having gone this far, may as well go all in', somewhat similar to "In for a penny, in for a pound".
Although I have a dozen half-written entries which I would love to finish one day, this will probably be my last post. Thanks to everyone who read my entries and sent me messages with encouragement and comments, it really meant a lot and made writing so enjoyable :) Hasta luego! Xx
El Palacio Real on a gorgeous sunny day trip to Aranjuez |
Snow-shoeing on the Folgefonna Glacier in Norway! |
Maybe not the most attractive photo, but what the hell: me in Salamanca after spending an awesome weekend with my housemate Ana's family in Valladolid |